SOLITUDE

 Oh Solitude, you are so sweet!!

The balm of a tired soul, 

The companion of a word-worn mind....

You heal best...

You love the most...

And the mind, once free of thoughts, can breathe....

Lonely amidst the crowd, 

Torn and wounded in arguments,

The heart flutters to escape.....

To escape and hide in a place 

Unseen and unknown and forgotten!

Then oh Solitude, you embrace and soothe...

You collect the thoughts, suspend them 

And calmness descends on the mind...

The muscles ease, the veins throb no longer...

Silence is music to the ears!

Time, lines for you

 Time, you were plenty in childhood.

I could close my fist and have you in it,

Forever for me, forever under my control!

Time, you were in your high spirits

In my youth, I could carry you on my shoulders, 

And you will run with me

As a friend, always beside me!

Time, in my middle age,

Overworked, overburdened, I plead

With you to take me with you,

Yet you elude, evade and run

Ahead of me, I cannot keep pace.

In my old age, Time, will you sit with me

And have a cup of coffee?

We will talk our hearts out,

Blame each other, and love each other,

Like old mates...

You will hold my hand and take me on a ride

Through faded, half- forgotten alleys.

We will laugh, we will cry...together!

Time, I will have you then forever...

Forever as mine!!

Sometime in the past...

 The soft touch of the grass drenched in dew

The liquid touch of raindrops on the face

The hard solidarity of the rock

On which one stands to view the waves.....

I saw them all.

I felt them all.

When?

Sometime in the past.

The Google Photos may know-

I can't recall.

The day I stood on the beach,

And seemed to get sunken in the sand,

As the waters receded, caressing my feet-

The day I stood on the top of a hill,

And embraced an entire town

With my open arms....

When?

Sometime in the past.

Facebook knows it, the Memory

Popped up the other day...!

I can't recall.

The idle ramblings of a tired mind-

The floating images in front of eyes-

When was the last time I felt alive?

When was the last time I slept

Without the hurry of waking up?

Was it sometime in the past?

Was it sometime the other day?

Does Google know it?

Does Facebook show it?

No, I guess so.

But there used to be such a time

In the past...in a dream.. in some trance...

The moments flickered, and...got lost!

Impossible to retrieve!

I exist!!

 Cups of black coffee

Bouts of puking

Loads of paper

A mute large screen

Lack of sleep

A vein throbs in the head

I give up 

I quit

Every night.

The alarm goes

A morning comes

New hope, new beginning

Again a cup of black coffee

I give in

I fight

I struggle

I exist

Somehow!!

#earlymorningranting

It is good to be back!!

 'Tis good to be back

To the known corridors, the classrooms

'Tis good to face the class....

Not the screen anymore...

Students, not muted windows,

Refusing to show faces!

'Tis good to have a hearty talk, 

To get infected by their vibrance, 

Energy, cheerfulness, presence....

But...the pulse is somewhere missing!

The mesh of masks, the smell of sanitizer....

Still there's life, triumphing over

The numbing thoughts of Death-

The Sick, the Fear, the Hope, the Despair....

The predominant emotions in the year last.

Yes, ' tis good to embrace 

The semblance of normalcy-

To feel, to laugh, to behave

As if life is back to its usual pace.....

It will be good to be back to 

Whatever was, used to be-

The known, the mundane, the very very ordinary!!

'Tis good to dream, hope and wish....

'Tis good to be back!

FAILURE!!

I sit here and wonder
Why words and emotions escape
My mind, my fingers, my pen,
And I fail to write.

Yes, it seems, a giant full stop sits
At the end of my line of thoughts.
A finality- an end- a destiny.
Yet I take up a pen
And scribble words on a blank paper.

I must write, to stay awake, alive....
Thoughts overlap, a word tumbles over another..
Some come, some falter, some disappear...
" As though of hemlock I had drunk"...
Keats- I bumped into him in the maze of words...
The erratic musings of a wandering mind!

But I must write to stay awake!
Awake, alive, alert, awake....
Somewhere deep down in the heart
A vein throbs, a painful cry pushes up
And gets choked in the throat.
A failure, hard to accept!
I sit with a pen and accept it.
I can't write, yet I stay alive!
Alive? Or living? Does it make a difference?

QUESTIONING YOU, LOVE.....

When dreams vanish in bubbles.........
And reality bares its teeth..........
I grope for bits of hope, and
Shreds of desire come in hand..........
LOVE, will you redeem me?

SILENCE, WHERE ART THOU?

A thousand words…

Clashing and gnawing at each other…

Baring teeth and jaws…

Jeering at those unspoken thoughts,

That mingle into a single emotion!

How despicable is speech sometimes!

Silence, pregnant with unuttered emotions--

A bliss to be experienced!

FEELING SUPERANNUATED

Feeling superannuated……

Yet the untamed mind refuses to idle.

The painful weakness grips every limb

And a mournful cry remains unuttered;

I want a release, a freedom to be myself,

Yet every move seems superfluous, and

At the same time inadequate, unbearable.

This excruciating torture of being hollow,

Of being reduced to empty nothingness,

Gnaws ant my heart and rends the soul.

Deliver me, deliver my mind, I want to be free……..

Let me live, body and soul, and feel life as it is.

ON ILLNESS

The sunny days decide to have a peep into my room,

The golden rays make delightful images on the wall,

And I lay groaning in my bed, deprived of freedom…

I can’t stand at the window to listen to the birds’ call.

I twist and turn and try hard to cast aside the fever,

Which grabs my hands and feet in a strong icy grip,

And burns up my body in a fiery blaze of torture…

My mind can’t work as thoughts seem to fall and slip.

Menacing weird shapes keep haunting my slumber…

And endless nights are threatened with nightmares…

Lying in bed, I find my days dull and nights sombre,

Idleness wraps up the mind and body in countless layers.

May I be delivered from this tormenting existence?

May I be able to bear these days with calm patience?

PARADISE GAINED.......

I chose words carefully, wrote them down,

And read and revised a number of times

Before I sent them your way…..

I trembled happily, sang a careless tune,

Dreamt with open eyes, saw endless visions

Before I got carried away…..

Suddenly a thought crept into my mind

And my heart missed a beat as it said:

“What you sent were merely ideas stray,

Your deep love, you failed to convey.”

I was shocked as I felt I was blind,

My heart can’t be shown in the poem I made.

As I lay in my sorrow, crestfallen and distressed…..

He called me, and my spirits were uplifted!

He said, “My dear, words are hopelessly inadequate,

Listen to the beats of my heart, it is as passionate.”

The words dissolved…..

The visions melted…..

I lost myself

And gained Paradise!!

THE 'CHILD'

We have successfully killed the 'child' in us.
We have throttled the 'child' and even hushed its groans,
And made the children of today mere shadows of the past!
They have never known the innocent pleasures of childhood,
And are enjoying the pursuit of empty dreams and desires.
'Childhood' is a myth now, a long-forgotten story...
How I wish it were re-told and re-lived!

IDLE REVERIES...

The days and nights pass.
We live….
The months and years pass.
We live….
We breathe and we live,
We live and we breathe,
No significance in our existence….
Why we are? What we should be?
All unanswered questions haunt an idle mind.


Am I doing the right thing?
Is this the correct option?-
What’s the point in asking anyway?
Because the habit of living has got into our veins.
The purpose is lost in the complicated pathways
The story of each man is that of passing days…
No variety, no change…!
An unending saga of sameness and complacency.



I wish to break free,
I wish to fly and touch the sky,
I wish to feel the star in the eastern horizon,
With whom I share my feelings….
It had been when I was, it will be when I am not….


Can a heart pound in the same wild manner as mine does?
Can a mind reach out to mine and share my thoughts?
I wonder if I will ever find ….

My lines will remain as ramblings of some mad woman
Lost in the mazes of her own reveries!!

LONELINESS...

The half-formed illusive notions
Flit across the mind’s horizon
As despair and happiness struggle hard
To reign supreme in the heart.
I have discovered the meaning of loneliness-
It whispers into the ears mystical words
With obscure import and strange implication
Until u are overwhelmed with a wondrous charm.
Loneliness torments and generates a pain,
But I have learnt to strive and battle
To transcend it and emerge stronger.
Yet the heart refuses to remain in my hands-
It remains vulnerable to all the vagaries of the mind
And gets swayed and tossed about in the sea of emotions.
And I like a soul lost in my own misty consciousness
Choose to overlook the lessons of solitude
And embrace the aches of the heart…..!
How strange is human nature,
That opts for melancholy even when freedom is at hand!!

THE RE-INCARNATION

The tame mind holds the reins of the wild heart,
Impatient to get submerged in the waves of new desires.
The distant call of the unknown and the strange
Stir the unbridled emotions that overwhelm the soul.
Oscillating between exhilaration and despair
The self undergoes a transformation-
A new ME looks into my eyes,
Stunned and bewildered at its own re-incarnation!!

I CHOOSE TO WAIT!!

The day arrives-
The bright summer sun peeps through the window
And plants a warm kiss on my forehead.
I open my eyes,
And choose to wait…
And wait…!


The evening sets in-
The sky gets overcast with dark clouds
And a faint blue light illuminates the horizon.
I hum an old tune,
And choose to wait…
And wait…?


The night falls-
Big drops of rain come down in amazing haste
And a painful longing overwhelms my soul.
I wipe off a careless tear,
And choose to wait…
And wait!
And wait!

MUSIC IN MY SOUL!!

My soul flutters like a caged bird
Wishing to get free….
A strange madness has possessed it
And it wants to soar high….
High and high beyond the known
Transcending the limits of time and place
To touch the distant, the unknown….

The raindrops patter on the eaves
Dancing and rejoicing for no definite reason
With a strange musical rhythm,
A gust of wind threw open the windows
To whisper softly in my ears,
‘A miracle has taken place, and
Something somewhere has changed....!’

THE RE-AWAKENING!!

A cool breeze lifted my hair
And touched my face,
Caressing it with a spray of soft raindrops.
The wet sari wrapped around my body
Enfolding me in the comfort of familiar warmth...
I wished to throw away the umbrella
And lose myself in the celebration of nature…..
The rains… the long awaited rains….!!
It drenched my body, it freed my soul…
A feeling, strange and sweet, crept into the heart
And I let myself be drowned in the flood of emotions-
To emerge pure and true
In a new world… on a new day…!!

THE MIRACLE WE CALL LIFE!

Life….
The paradox we have to deal with!
For a moment it loses its meaning,
When a meeting or a conversation
Ceases to be important.
Then suddenly the colours rush back
And tinge all the bleak corners of your heart
With the flush of new desires!
And you are left wondering….
Is it possible?
Life….
The strangest boon we are gifted with!